Asian Chicken Salad

Ready, baby

I am ready. Yeah! Hey, Paula. Hey, Gordy. What are we making today

Asian chicken salad. My God, that's a fabulous thing. All right, so let me tell you what we got, Gordy

Yep. We've got us some butter lettuce leaves. Yep. We got bean sprouts

We got snow peas. Mm-hmm. We've got... Water chestnuts? Water chestnuts. Right now, my words is leaving me

Okay, this is chicken, Paula. Look at me. Yes. Paula, what? Chicken pork

And then I'll chop those up for you while you make the dish. Yeah, we're going to chop this up, because let me tell you

we're not going to eat this on bread, y'all. We're going to put us a little scoop

on one of these butter lettuce leaves. So things need to be a little bit tiny. Finer

Yes. Is this small enough? No, I would do smaller than that

How much soy are you putting in there? Just a scant short of two tablespoons

But can I tell everybody something? And this is sesame oil. Sesame oil. Yes, baby. This stuff is so strong

You got five teaspoons of soy sauce, and you got two teaspoons of sesame oil. No, one teaspoon of sesame oil

It says two, man. I know it says two, but sesame oil is so very strong

Okay, good. And we're going to do one teaspoon of sugar. Okay

And then we're going to use the juice of one lime. You know, as I've been producing you for 12 years

I suddenly realize you completely ignore the recipe. You're just making this up. Pretty much

You've been doing this for years, and you're not doing what's in front of you. Pretty much, y'all

You don't listen to the thing we tell you. I ain't listened to ever a word you told me

I let it go in one ear and out the other No it working It working I just want to point out So you wanted to say something Well yeah because everyone here who works on the show knows this that you work here

and then you go home, and you really cook. And some nights, you have the whole crew over

And I have stayed at your place so late. We play poker on Wednesday nights

We play poker. And he takes all of our money. Uh-huh. The big, rich, cigar-smoking producer..

No, that is not true. ...takes all of us poor little folks' money

Anybody got a violin? No. You're one of the sharpest women I've ever met in cards

Oh, boy. There's a reason you're standing where you are. I lost every time. No, you didn't

Michael did. Michael, the poor husband. No, I like taking Michael's money

It's fun. I do, too. All right, y'all, I have grated up like one tablespoon of fresh ginger

You know, I love, love, love fresh ginger. and sometimes it can be very, very hot

Have y'all ever eaten ginger sometimes and it just lights you up

Mm-hmm. Ginger was my favorite on Gilligan's Island. Well, Michael always liked Mary Ann

That could be the test. Don't you think what kind of women men want? Are you a ginger or a Mary Ann

I'm sorry, you carry on. I've completely gone off the right of that

I don't know. It's late in the afternoon and I'm having brain farts

Mind farts? Okay. And Gordon's having sexual dreams. Well, no, I was 12

I was 12 watching Gilligan's Island. Anyone my age knows that that was a kickstart to adolescence

Okay, all right, what do you got? All right, I'm going to slice our chicken breast. Okay

And pass it to you. Oh, and then you want me to chop. Yeah, and then you can chop

And I going to go ahead and put this onion excuse me over in our bowl And I think that we ought to mince our water chestnuts

OK. Because as chunky as they are, they might fall off of our lettuce leaf

What do you think, darling? All right. Do y'all remember when Gordon started, he was in front of the camera

or in front of the microphone with radio starting out in Australia

For 25 years I did television. But, you know, I think you get to a point particularly

where the best television that ever happens is never produced. You just give people, like, toys to play with or moments to enjoy

Yeah, yeah. And then take your hands off, and then you do something that no one could ever imagine or ever plan

That's the best TV in the world. And, you know, they're... It's okay, I was distracted

It's okay. Is my hairpiece showing? No, it is. No, no. Is that a hairpiece

All these years, I didn't know that. Oh, no, it's... Well, now..

You got two ADD people in front of your camera right now. I'm talking about her hairpiece

Well, see, it's not like a hairpiece like a man that's bald-headed. I just have these two little twigs

That's not what that was. See, I wasn't crazy. It helps me out

Really? Can I have one? Just put that in there. Yes. Okay. All right, now get down here where I can fix it

How's that look? How's that look? So, look. Looking good

All right. That looks pretty dadgum good, Gordy. Is it my color? Put all your stuff in here, please

There you do. I'll put all my chicken in here. All right, here we go. Yeah, that's good. Okay

Okay, good. Yes. Thank you. I want you to stir all that together

Thank you And that it And do you want to just pour the dressing Yes I going to pour the sauce over it when you get everything pretty much mixed Where my clothes

Are you my camera, Jamie? No, I'm not. Are you? Oh, oh, oh, story

Yes. The last night I ever drank. I stumped drinking 14 years ago

The last night I ever drank alcohol was with a woman who I'm standing next to right now

I'm not saying you're the reason I gave up drinking, but I realized that, you know, if I had to have this career

and I had to produce television shows, I couldn't be... Yeah, because you were really just starting with your production company, weren't you

I started my company. But I just realized that me being me is one thing

but me being responsible for someone else is another. Oh, honey, listen, tell me about it

Right, so if I was going to be responsible... You know, it's one thing to lose what you got

Right. But it's another thing to lose somebody else's. So I got up in the morning, I thought, you know what

if I'm going to make a business and have people trust me, I have to be sober. That was it

Right. That was it. You have to be responsible. 14 years later, every day I'd say to myself

I'm working with Paula tomorrow. Maybe I'm going to need a drink. Bon appétit

Bon appétit. Well, thank you, Paula. It's beautiful, as you can tell

It's got some spice to it. That's good. Thank you. All right

We'll see you again for another dish. I love you. And we'll have another therapy session

So do come in, lay back, and let Aunt Paula have a chat with you

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's funny. I love it

That's true. Thank you